“Between two worlds. To live in two absolutely different cultures is like living in two different worlds. You know the famous places and the places you wouldn’t dare visit…the danger zones…But so often in my life, I had the feeling that I didn’t belong to anything. Neither to one world or the other. I was not a local…I was a sightseer…a stranger in my own life…I understood both worlds but I didn’t have a sense of belonging. Last year, I took a journey to the other side…
My father is Indian and my mother is German. My parents got divorced when I was 4. But, I always asked myself why it was that I only existed in one of the worlds. So, I wanted to go back to discover my roots on my own…to see if I belong more to India or Germany. I wanted to know if I’m a German potato or if there is anything else in me, maybe a little Indian monk!
It was a strange feeling standing in Delhi Airport. It was nighttime and I took in the hot dusty air for the first time in 21 years. I saw the Indian military roam through…I felt the colorful carpet underneath my feet…these expressions were overwhelming…This city was full of life; this world was full of life…
It was a journey full of moments I will never forget. I learned a lot about myself and my second home… not facts, but I learned how to feel and that sometimes it is better to let something just go, and wait…
I will keep these moments like a treasure in my own temple. I have no answer regarding which world I belong to and now, I think it isn’t important when you have people who love you and you love them back too. I have a quote by Ernst Ferstl that has made a strong impression on me… “We need many years until we understand how valuable moments can be.” This sentence is so important to my life, I will never regret anything but sometimes the moments pass and the only thing that I will remember is the colour of silence or the sound of one vermillion voice. And these are the little things that make everything so clear again, that I really understand…No regrets at all…This is what I wish to everyone, to understand your moments…”
– Sonja Talwar
042/100 of #100DaysofConfessions Instagram Project